House VS Pirates of the Carribean part II
by HARLEYQUINNS
Summary: House is in his office, or is he.... the adventure has moved on. Wilson has escaped, Cuddy has her clevage on display and HOuse has lost his pirates hat..... This is a crossover fic, hope you enjoy it!


House VS Pirates of the Caribbean - part II

That was the worst journey Cameron had ever had, she had been so sick, as sick as a dog, yuk and now still looking slightly green, she walked down the plank and onto the Island of New Jersey.

It was a great lively and bustling place, she looked around, where should she start looking for House? The port maybe? A tavern or two ? Then a house of ill repute, she refused to call those places by their other names, she was a 'lady' after all!

She had a look round the port and asked around, they had not seen or heard of the PPTF's arrival, so she moved onto the taverns, she was feeling hungry. Finding one that didn't look to bad on the outside She sauntered in, trying to act a little more masculine as it wouldn't do to be found out that a 'lady' had gone in alone in one of these places.

Scouring around, she asked the barkeep if he knew of House, or the PPTF and if he had heard anything of either's whereabouts'. The barkeep sighed and informed Cameron he wasn't a walking dictionary of knowledge, yes it went with the job, but would she like a drink?

Cameron thought, why not, took to a position where she could survey the whole tavern and downed a pint of beer or two or three, god this stuff was GOOD.

Oh her fifth, sixth, no maybe even tenth, giggling Cameron attempted to get back to the bar, she staggered so far but unfortunately knocked into a rather stern and as it turned out HUGE fellow. He was not happy, he said something, Cameron couldn't understand, she giggled.

Then he started waving his sword around, oohhh! she thought, I have one of those, so she got hers out too.

Chaos ensued, Cameron wasn't quite sure who had thrown her out of the tavern, but she was impressed by her prowess with a sword people, she had swoooshed, she had swayed, a LOT of swaying, she had touche-ed too.

Yes, oh yes…..

Cameron tripped and fell over her sword………………..

When she lifted her head up eventually, she focused on what was laying in front of her, it seemed to be a sty, a pigs sty was it… eeeewwwwwww.

But there was also someone in the sty, who was that. Cameron slowly raised herself to her feet and stomped over to where the person lay, with the pigs.

Crinkerling her eyes, Cameron kicked the body, she didn't know why, but the body was familiar. It turned and although covered in muck Cameron instantly recognised a familiar face, Lisa Norrington.

Lisa had just rolled over, so Cameron kicked her again, this time harder.

'OOOUUUUCCCHHHH! What did you do that for'? Lisa moved and sat up glaring at Cameron.

'Lisa you're in a pigs sty, asleep and you smell... eeewwwwwwwwwwww.'

Cameron took paces backwards.

' Oh leave me alone Cameron' Lisa took a swipe at air…

'Why' Enquired Cameron.

' I have had enough, I'm fed up, since I stopped wearing cleavage revealing clothing, everyone thinks I'm a man'! Lisa sobbed.

Cameron would of liked to of comforted her, but the smell, well …. No.

She took pity on Lisa and they conversed some more, when suddenly Cameron felt a hand on her shoulder.

………………………………...

Wilson was unnerved, he didn't like the way Beckett kept calling round, he was worried about his dahling Cameron and he had to get out, yup he made a decision, no more Mister nice guy!

He was at a loose end though, how in heavens name could he escape, he was guarded 24/7. The facilities keeper was a odd looking fellow and that worried Wilson too, there was a dog and huh rather funnily the dog had the keys, the keys to all the cells, ha! Fancy that, as Wilson pondered some more he noticed said dog cagily walking up to where Wilson was sat.

'Hello boy, are you tired, are you hungry, would you like old Wilson to feed you some food eh? I haven't much left, but what I have is yours old fella'.

He pushed his plate toward the dog, it rushed over and wolfed down what food was left. Wilson was just thinking aaaaawwwwwww when a thought occurred to him...

Yes, he did grab the keys off the dog and scarper, no more mister nice guy!

………………………………...

Cameron wheeled round, which really didn't help her head, as the beer was still in effect.

'House' she sighed and there stood over her was House, for some reason her heart rate quicken a little, the beer was still in effect?

'What are you two doing here, Lisa are you.. Are you sat in a pigs sty'?

Lisa Wailed, 'No more cleavage revealing clothes………….'

'Riiiigggghhhhttttt, because we never got enough of that, did we Lisa'? Said House, he heard a giggle or two behind him and spun round.

There stood laughing were Ragetti Chase and Pintel Foreman, House was confused.

'How long have you two been here'? He asked.

'Oh ' said Foreman.. 'we're part of the PPTF crew, we've been with you all along'.

'All along'. Repeated Chase.

'huh' said House, ' I never noticed you'?

' oh you never do' Replied Foreman.

' Yes you never do, or pays any attention to us either' Scoffed Chase.

' I suppose subordinates should always been seen but not heard, well we cant stand around here all night, lets get back to the PPTF and you two can come too' House marched off.

The others followed although they kept Lisa at a distance, and when the time was right House pushed her in the sea, to combat the smell obviously.

Once all were on board the PPTF there was a sense of calm that ensued, while Foreman and Chase got down to the able seamen jobs they were ordered to do by Kevin, House took great delight in that, time soon drifted away.

House was speaking to Cameron, when he noticed she had fallen asleep, it was the beer effect apparently, he watched her as she snored, rather to loudly for his liking on his bed. Hhhmmmm.

Lisa had been given her own cabin, House had done the kind deed of sending Kevin on a shopping excursion for some cleavage revealing clothing, Lisa had nearly cried with delight, grabbing Kevin who was rather enamoured with Lisa Norrington. House took great delight in that too.

House was still pondering Bootstrap Jules tale when Cameron came too, she jolted and looked at House, eventually focusing on him, why was her heart beating so fast again?

'Wilson' she cried.

'Yes' said House, ' you must be married by now' He sighed, ' but I wonder why are you here and he is not'?

Cameron then blurted out the tale of her and Wilson's non marriage and Beckett and the fact that House had a possession. She saw House grin at Beckett's name and a smirk at the non marriage and concern that his friend should be in detention, because of a possession of his, he had no idea what possession, but his none the less, plus the fact that he also had Cameron in his bed... was it hot in here?

He paused for a moment, should he relay Bootstrap Jules encounter to Cameron. He decided against it, they made plans to hold a meeting with everyone in the morning as to what to do next. It was just the sleeping arrangements for now.

The dawn came and House awoke, he looked around him, he was saddened, Cameron had gone to Cuddy's cabin.

Anyway, he stopped and paused, he did think he was coping rather well considering he didn't know what the hell was happening. But this, a pirate, this was probably a Carlsberg of hallucinations, the best hallucination in the world! Except that they hadn't done much pirating, but hey they looked the part especially Houses pirate hat!

He prepared himself and went on deck, there was a little activity but he was soon moved back into his cabin, with the sight of Foreman and breakfast.

After which, the meeting he had proposed began, on deck, in the shade... Caribbean love.

They revelled in Cameron's tale, they gasped at Houses and the boys gawped at Lisa, she smiled, she had it back!

A plan was formed, they would go and see the syphilis lady, Syphilis Dalma, she would know what the possession House had that Beckett wanted.

She was a fan of Houses after all and would always have his best interests at heart, in fact as close to her chest as possible. House shuddered.

House also formulated a plan to deal with Moriarty Jones, he was sure he would crop up somewhere on the voyage to the Syphilis lady.

With provisions on board and the ship ready to go, House issued the order to embark and make haste for the mysterious clinical islands, so called because…. Well no one actually knew why they were called that?

With the vastness of the ocean before him and the sun on his face, the wind in his...no wait he was wearing his hat. The wind whistling around his fine pirates hat, House was really beginning to enjoy himself.

Foreman and Chase upon his orders were moping the deck, closely watched by Kevin, Lisa was sunbathing in her cleavage revealing clothing, still trying to prove she wasn't a man, Cameron was sat at the stern of the boat, she looked beautiful, the loveliness was radiating from her, the sun on her perfect skin, her beautiful hair billowing out with the wind behind her.

House sighed, just as the PPTF took a sturdy jolt to the stern.

………………………………...

Wilson was on the run, he had sneaked away from the facility with ease, stolen clothing and weaponry and was making haste for the Island of New Jersey, he was sure he would find Cameron there, even House.

It was his only chance, he was on the run after all, with the British Navy close on his heels. No more mister nice guy mwah ha!

Or so he thought, Beckett was informed of Wilson's escape.

Blast he thought, poor show, we could have had such fun, he pondered on Wilson's lovely hair for a moment.

………………………………...

The boat was rocking terrifically, everyone on board was being thrown all over the place, they were all hanging on for their lives.

Then it stopped it was over, Lisa even covered up her cleavage.

When the sea and ship had settled, everyone began to check the ship, Foreman pushed off Chase who had supposedly been thrown underneath him. Damn fool!

No one noticed the ship slowly pulling along side the PPTF, or the shadowy figures that silently crept aboard. House frantic searched for Cameron, but there was no sign of her, he became desperate.

Suddenly House was grabbed from behind, he had no defence it was that fast, around him he heard Cuddy scream, Chase too.

Whoever had hold was strong and forced House back into his cabin, he lost his hat.

The perpetrators were mean looking, well creatures, fish, fishy people, what was it about this place and horrid smells?

They tied House up to a chair, amused by the whole situation, they laughed which didn't help Houses mood.

'He'll be 'ere to see you soon' one of the fish men sputtered.

'Who' said House ' oh let me guess, Moriarty'

'Yes that's me, I'm here'

House spun round, or at least tried to, his was tied to a chair after all.

There before him was Moriarty, this was the man that House had supposedly dun wrong, this was the man of whom House had supposedly killed his wife.

Moriarty sneered at House, not so full of ourselves now, are we House.

And so Moriarty droned on and on at House, House tried to stifle a yawn, on and on and on. Yadda, yadda, yadda, House was just trying to keep his eyes open, when all hell appeared to be breaking loose on deck. Moriarty heard it too, he walked to the porthole that looked on deck, he sighed, never employ fishy people he thought to himself, to slippery!

It was no use, he took the gun from his hip, House swallowed was this it.

He watched Moriarty raise the pistol, cock the hammer...

The cabin door burst open, Cameron rushed in to the sound of a pistol shot.

'House' she screamed.

'Yes' he replied.

Cameron frantically looked around, there in front of her was House Bound to a chair grinning. He looked fine, no blood, er…….. Nothing?

Cameron was confused.

'Look behind the door' House motioned with his head.

'huh' Cameron stepped in and pulled the door closed. There behind the door lay Moriarty, blood seeping from his chest, the pistol just slightly in front of his hand, his eyes empty.

'I, I , killed him' ? Cameron gasped.

'yup, although technically all you did was fling open a door, he was just the idiot stood behind it' House chuckled.

Cameron didn't find it amusing, House watched as the woman dissolved in a heap in front of him, tears streaming down her face, her hair a mess of tangles, her blouse ripped partially, her décolletage on display, her slacks were ripped too. House couldn't help himself, she was too gorgeous and to top it all she had saved his life.

'Cameron' He whispered softly.

'yes' she whimpered.

'Can you untie me'?

' Oh right, yes'

She wiped her nose on the cuff of her blouse and moved in and untied House. When she was close enough and nearly finished, House breathed her in, it was no good, he had no choice, he pounced.

She let him.

Minutes later, well it always seems like a life time right, reality though, minutes later they emerged from Houses cabin. Awkward as they may of felt, they hadn't the time, the chaos that had happened on deck had left a terrible mess. Bodies, fish bodies everywhere, throw them over board House yelled, their fish food the lot of them.

It seemed that Cameron had been momentarily stunned when The PPTF was first hit, but she had regained her composure and with the help from Cuddy and her trusty sword, they had fought back and taken the ship.

Only for Cameron to then rush to the Captains cabin and storm through the door, accidentally killing Moriarty.

Once they had cleaned the mess and regained there composure, Cuddy even put her cleavage back on display, they continued for the clinical islands.

………………………………...

Wilson arrived at the Islands of New Jersey, he was exhausted, but also exhilarated, he had made it this far and the British Navy had not caught up with him… ha ha!

He walked into a fairly decent looking Tavern, he asked the bar keep if he knew the PPTF or Captain House or the whereabouts of either, the barkeep sighed. How about a drink, he said, oh, thought Wilson, sounds good.

………………………………...

Later on House and Cameron found themselves alone at the table that had the newly found beverage, coffee.

'Hi' said Cameron.

'Hello' said House.

Awkward silence fell for a few moments………………………………...

'I love this stuff' said House.

'Its all new to me' Said Cameron 'But its weird something tells me, I'll be making this a lot, for you'

'oh' said House 'Listen Cameron, earlier, what we did, was it weird? Does this feel weird, I mean you're Wilson's, Have I crossed a line'?

Cameron looked at House, really looked at House.

'I'm nobodies House, nobodies but my own' She flashed her blue green eyes as she winked at House, turning away from him, he smiled.


End file.
